God tells me that His eye is on the sparrow and so if He is taking care of a little bird how much more is he taking care of me? He tells me I am to be fearless, and yet I am worried and afraid. It's not like its a new thing for me to be a giant faithless hypocrite... but some times when you realize how hypocritical you have been and how faithless you are it takes you back a few steps. I regret that these past few months I have spent so much time afraid and hiding. I feel as if there has been so much joy around me and I have tried to keep it out. I only let it small doses from time to time... at a family dinner, on a date with my wife, talking to a friend, and better yet talking to God. It's funny how God listens to people he knows are complete fakes and frauds and losers and quitters and sinners. If I even think someone may be lying to me I shun them (i.e. Mitt Romney and Joel Olsteen.) God on the other hand still hears me still loves me and even still talks to me... yeah I know that's crazy evangelical talk and you can discount it if you want, but that's the faith I have and its the faith I want to live.
So my wish this Christmas is not for a new toy, and its not for a new job; because I know that neither will make me happy. Is for Peace, Joy and Courage. In the book of Luke when the Angels appear to the shepherds God says that the angles told the Sheppards to not be afraid, but instead to be joyful because they brought good news... the Savior had been born and he would finally bring peace to earth.
8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch
over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the
glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel
said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be
for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you;
he is Christ[a]
the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths
and lying in a manger."
13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly
host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in
the highest, and on earth peace to men on
whom his favor rests."
I know it's a little cliche to talk about the Christmas story at this time of year. Jeremy and I try to stay away from crusty old religious practices, but the truth is that God has come to bring Peace, Joy and Courage... even to worried cowards like me. So I hope that I can fully accept that peace and courage and experience the full joy of Salvation with Jesus.
I realize this all deviates from the norm for Adam and Jeremy, and I also realize that I just took a very long journey from discontent in the office to Salvation on the Cross, but thanks for reading it, and hope you also have a Merry Christmas.