Adam Says: Why Work When You Can Just Hide.

Why do I work? Is it for the money or is it something else? I think its for the money. Why do I work for money? Is it for happiness or is it for comfort? It is silly to think that I would work so hard to make myself happy. Some of the happiest moments of my life have come at times when I was poor... or have cost very little... I was happy when I bought a huge truck for $1000 and then beat the living tar out of it for the next three years... I was happy when I lived over a sewing shop and paid a flat $200 a month for all my expenses; which was good because I only made $7000 that year. I was happy when I spent a month sneaking into my friends apartment pool everyday reading trashy magazines and working a tan. I was happy when I was a junior level go-fer in a big government PR office who spent two hours a day playing basketball with old men. I was happy when I went tagging old rail road tunnels with my future wife. So if so many things that came at so little cost gave me such joy why am I now working so hard to make money? Comfort is the only real answer I have, but that's not really the answer. I say that I want to able to do things I enjoy without worrying about money, and I say that I need to work hard so I can rest for a long time at the end of my life, but in reality its more fear than comfort that drives me... Fear that I wont have money to pay the bills... fear that I will get sick and not have money to go to the doctor... fear that my wife may get pregnant and we wont be able to afford to birth the child... fear that I will have to work the rest of my life... this is not good.

God tells me that His eye is on the sparrow and so if He is taking care of a little bird how much more is he taking care of me? He tells me I am to be fearless, and yet I am worried and afraid. It's not like its a new thing for me to be a giant faithless hypocrite... but some times when you realize how hypocritical you have been and how faithless you are it takes you back a few steps. I regret that these past few months I have spent so much time afraid and hiding. I feel as if there has been so much joy around me and I have tried to keep it out. I only let it small doses from time to time... at a family dinner, on a date with my wife, talking to a friend, and better yet talking to God. It's funny how God listens to people he knows are complete fakes and frauds and losers and quitters and sinners. If I even think someone may be lying to me I shun them (i.e. Mitt Romney and Joel Olsteen.) God on the other hand still hears me still loves me and even still talks to me... yeah I know that's crazy evangelical talk and you can discount it if you want, but that's the faith I have and its the faith I want to live.

So my wish this Christmas is not for a new toy, and its not for a new job; because I know that neither will make me happy. Is for Peace, Joy and Courage. In the book of Luke when the Angels appear to the shepherds God says that the angles told the Sheppards to not be afraid, but instead to be joyful because they brought good news... the Savior had been born and he would finally bring peace to earth.

8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch
over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the
glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel
said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be
for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you;
he is Christ[a]
the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths
and lying in a manger."
13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly
host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in
the highest, and on earth peace to men on
whom his favor rests."

I know it's a little cliche to talk about the Christmas story at this time of year. Jeremy and I try to stay away from crusty old religious practices, but the truth is that God has come to bring Peace, Joy and Courage... even to worried cowards like me. So I hope that I can fully accept that peace and courage and experience the full joy of Salvation with Jesus.

I realize this all deviates from the norm for Adam and Jeremy, and I also realize that I just took a very long journey from discontent in the office to Salvation on the Cross, but thanks for reading it, and hope you also have a Merry Christmas.